Top 10 Reasons Being A Parent is Exhausting

10. The nagging and prodding necessary to get your children to do something that should take 60 seconds.

Get your jacket. (You get your socks, shoes, and jacket and return to find your child without a jacket, but playing with a car.)

Monkey, I asked you to get your jacket on, so we can leave. (You gather your purse and keys. Your child is still without a jacket, but now has two cars racing.)

Monkey, I’m not asking again. Put your jacket on. We are leaving. (You got get his jacket and put it on him. He immediately beings to whine.) 

Mom, I wanna do it myself. (Mom pulls her hair out!)

Dad and toys9. The endless search for missing items.

Mom, where are my shoes?

Are they by the door?

No.

Did you look in your closet?

No. (Goes to look and returns.)

Were they there?

No.

Where did you last have them?

On my feet.

Funny. Where did you take them off?

By the couch.

Look there.

They’re not there. Brother must have moved them. I’m going to get him. (Fight ensues. Mom breaks up the fight and begins to look for the shoes. They are not by the door. They are not by the coach. They are not visible in the closet, but if you move the jacket huddled in the corner, there they are.)

8. The drama involved in the loss of a favorite toy.

Mom, where’s my plane with the six missiles and the broken wing?

I don’t know. Where did you last have it?

I don’t know. I can’t find it.

Well, pick another toy to play with. (And that is the absolute wrong thing to say!)

But Mom, that is my all time favorite toy. (Collapses on the floor.) It’s the coolest toy we have. (Begins to weep as you offer other options to play with.) I’d rather play with that toy than any other toy we have. We could give all our other toys to kids with no toys, if I just had that plane with six missiles to play with. (If only they would live up to those threats!)

7. The enforcement of rules that they should know by now.

When you take a bath, your clothes go in the hamper not on the bathroom floor. (We’re still working on this four years later.)

When you pee, you flush the toilet AND wash your hands.

Wonder Mom6. The crazy schedule

Morning Routine (See #9 and 10); School; After-school snack; Playtime; Homework fight; Dinner; Bath; Bed

Oh wait, we have to be at soccer at 5:30 unless the coach texts that the time has been shifted 15 minutes.

Wednesday night, somewhere between the Homework fight and dinner, let’s get to church.

Thursday night, U8 soccer double header, following the Kindergarten music presentation. Sure, why  not?

4. Cleaning up one mess only to stumble upon another.

Thank you for cleaning up the toys in the bathtub and putting the toothpaste away.

(La de dah)

$#!& Who colored on the dining room table?!?

3. Laundry, unending piles of laundry.

Where is my soccer uniform, coaching polo, Buzz Lightyear shirt, the pants with the cool pockets, the shirt with the french cuffs?

In the washer, in the dryer, in the basket I haven’t folded, in the basket I just folded, in your drawer. I have no earthly idea. Wear something else!

clock2. Filling the empty pits of their stomachs.

Dad, I’m hungry.

Son, we just ate 30 minutes ago. Weren’t the three plates of food enough?

They were then, but now I’m hungry. Can I have something else?

1. You know you will wake up and do it all over again!!!

Hit the snooze! Just a few more minutes!!!!

 

Crap-I forgot 5. That’s how tired I am!

I’m going to take a nap.

 

Prayer focus: those who parent

 

Top 10 Delusions of Motherhood

When I was young, I had delusions of grandeur and how my life would be. I’ve adjusted. When I was pregnant, I too had delusions about how motherhood would be. Now, that  I’ve been doing this motherhood thing for over 6 years, they too are gone!

But for your reading and laughing pleasure, here are the Top 10 Delusions of Motherhood:

Parenting10. My breast-feed baby will never get sick.

9. I can do 5 loads of laundry in 3 hours.

8. My boys will always have their hair combed.

7. After the first few weeks, I’ll be able to sleep normally again.

6. I will be a put-together mom with clothing, hair and make-up done each day.

5. I will go to the bathroom by myself.

4. My child will listen to what I say and when he doesn’t, time-out will work.

3. My house will remain clean and orderly.

2. My child will not throw a fit in public.

1. Having children will not affect my sex life.

Having children changes everything!

Prayer Focus: struggling parents

Top 10 Prayer Topics

prayerFact: We should pray more!

Prayer is basic. It’s communication with God. And the key to a good relationship is good communication.

Some people have chunks of time to pray. And some people, like me, have to eek out small moments throughout the day. It doesn’t matter when you pray or for how long. It only matters that you talk to God!

At a loss for words?

Try these Top 10 Prayer Topics:

10. Your community, state, national and world leadership

9. Those who struggle with addiction, poverty, and sickness

8. Broken families from death, divorce, and distance

7. The children of the world for wisdom and opportunity

6. Your church family. Your pastor. Your teachers. Your brothers and sisters.

5. Your family.

4. Guidance through life, the good times and the bad.

3. Opportunities and gifts to serve.

2. Asking forgiveness for your sins.

1. Gratitude for the blessings in your life!

May we communicate with God each day!