Top 10 Arctic Vortex Survival Tips

It cold…like really cold! I spent two years in Boston as a graduate student. It’s like that all over again. Crazy! So here’s a list to help you navigate this arctic vortex, polar eclipse, bitter blast…this cold!

10. Adhere to all weather warnings from your local agencies.

Always good to avoid frostbite, hypothermia and death

Always good to avoid frostbite, hypothermia, and death, so please wear a hat and gloves

…this has been a message from the emergency broadcast system!

9. Look for ways to help your fellow humans who are struggling to stay warm.

Way to go DC! I sure hope you don't have to take a vote to see who picks them up or what shelter to take them to!

Way to go DC! I sure hope you don’t have to take a vote to see who picks them up or which shelter to take them to!

8. Occupy your time indoors by playing on FB and annoying your friends.

For the record, mine was -4, but I didn't take a picture of it! ;p

For the record, mine was -4, but I didn’t take a picture of it.

I was too cold to take off my gloves!!!

7. Take time to research this whole global warming thing.

Gotta say...I'm not convinced. I'm ridiculously cold!

Gotta say…I’m not convinced. I’m ridiculously cold!

6. If you must venture from the warmth of your house, dress appropriately.

Warm clothes

A few well-dressed, appropriately attired students from my alma mater, High Point University. In comparison, there are girls at our boarding school who are in skirts with no tights, “cause pants make me look fat.” Seriously?Seriously?  How good to you think you look frostbitten, hypothermic, or dead (see Tip #10)?

5. If you need to go here, make a new plan!

St. Joseph Lighthouse Lake Michigan

It might be St. Joseph’s Lighthouse on Lake Michigan or the ice planet of Hoth

-either way, don’t go! It’s not worth it!

4. If you can’t hack the cold, move to a warmer climate…as soon as you thaw.

Snowman to Mexico

And if you think Georgia is far enough south to avoid negative temperatures, you are dead wrong!

3. Stay cuddled with a loved one by a fire or under blankets, have a drink (of hot chocolate of course), and listen to some music.

Baby it's cold outside

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

2. But if cuddling develops into something more, use protection.

Snow Babies

Not where you want to be in October! Kids are expensive; they are noisy; they make messes!

And most importantly, they put a damper on cuddling developing into something more! 😉

1. And of course, bring your pets inside!

Pets Inside

No one wants to give the ASPCA or PETA another excuse for a Sarah McLachlan commercial!

“In the arms of an angel…” Shoot me now!

I hope you find these tips helpful!

They come to you courtesy of my family and friends on FB, where I copied each and every one of these images. My sarcasm is just an added bonus.

May laughter keep us warm!


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