It’s been a crazy few weeks. This weekend has been no exception with church, school, soccer, and family obligations. Coach and I really need Spring Break. Good thing it starts this Friday!
Though the weekend was extremely chaotic and everyone is napping right now but me, I must admit that it was great in many ways. I was able to get in the classroom for the first time in four years during our school’s Worship Community Day. It was great to interact with the kids and teach again. I miss it so much. And while it was wonderful, it was also like rubbing salt in an open wound. I long to be in the classroom again, to work with students, to challenge them, encourage them, prepare them for college and life, and show them love and compassion. I find myself mournful that I will return to a desk and computer tomorrow, rather than a room full of independent, engaged, and talented children.
I was also able to spend all weekend with my boys. It seems like the last few weekends that we have had to hire a babysitter for something. Weekends are supposed to be my time with them and it’s hard when things don’t turn out that way. I was even able to take a two+ hour nap with Little Monkey on Saturday afternoon. He feel asleep on me like when he was a baby. It was precious (and gave me a crick in my neck)!
The part of the weekend that I’m still thinking about and mulling over in my mind is the Lay Witness Mission that our church hosted. What is that? I didn’t know either. I found out that it’s an opportunity for members of other churches to visit and talk about what God is doing in their life. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but it turned out to be a great experience. I was fed, inspired, and challenged through their words.
To be honest, I am in a bit of limbo, knowing where I’ve come from and not really sure where I am going. I’m waiting. I’m anxious. I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. I’m lost. But after this weekend, I’m hopeful. I still don’t have any answers. I’m not any closer to knowing what’s next. But, I have hope and found some much needed encouragement. And while this weekend didn’t bring me the answers I so deperately want, it gave me glimpses of possibilities that I can cling to as I continue to search, to find my next journey, the path He has prepared for me.
Just as other times in my life, I am on a rollercoaster not knowing what’s around the bend, through the tunnel, or over the hill. But I’ve been on this rollercoaster a long time and know this is the way life works. There are ups and downs and uncertainties. I’m hoping for a view from the top of a climb that lays out the next section of track for me. I’ve seen it before. I know He’ll show it to me again.