And so Lent begins. Admittedly, I did not participate in any Fat Tuesday festivities as I had planned. The boys napped longer than usual and despite breaking the parenting rules for things like snow, I could not bring myself to do it for a pancake dinner. Instead we ate dinner in our cozy home away from the chaos and rain outside.
My Lenten journey began today at the campus Ash Wednesday service. To be honest, other than senior chapel, which I spend alternating between weeping and laughing, this is my favorite student chapel. There is a somber mood and the weight of the day seems heavy, but I always need it. I mess up so much as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend; and there never seems to be enough time or energy to live the way I know I should. This service reminds me, convicts me, and comforts me simultaneously. It is Litany of Penitence that drives the point home. It articulates all of my shortcomings so clearly that I cannot avoid them.
It is as I said convicting to voice all the ways in which I am an unworthy failure. It is humbling. And it drives me to gratitude that I am forgiven and saved from myself; that my shortcomings are not my death, but my chance for life; that while I am unworthy on my own, there is One who has made me worthy of such blessings, abundance, and love.
It seemed so appropriate that we ended with this song: