It is certainly something to celebrate, but it also makes me feel old. How can I be old enough to have a 5 year old and be married for 10 years? But calendars don’t often lie, so I guess it’s true. And we’ve done a lot in those ten years. We’ve moved five times, bought two houses (selling one and filing bankruptcy over the other not selling), had twelve jobs between us, dealt with a major remodel (not hiring contractors, doing it ourselves), attended five different churches, had two pets, and become a family of four. It’ been an amazing journey and we’re not done yet!
When you reach milestones, people often ask for your advice or how you make it work. It reminds me of this scene from Couples Retreat with Vince Vaughn. We love this movie and see pieces of ourselves and our relationship in these two characters. We are by no means experts on marriage in general, but we are experts on ours. So here’s “how we make it through things”:
- We love. We don’t have to love or even like actions, but we do love each other.
- We laugh…a lot…at ourselves, at each other, at our children, and at life.
- We support. Whenever possible we support the other’s job, dreams, and callings. Before kids, it meant nights alone to do whatever you felt like. Now it means more work, usually single parenting.
- We spend time together. We play games. We work on projects together. (Today we are working on redecorating our bathrooms. Refinishing cabinets…what a way to spend your anniversary! But it’s what makes us us.)
- We talk. About life, family, religion, politics, finances, everything.
- We put our family first and don’t allow his family or my family or our friends or jobs to influence us in making a decision that is not in the best interest of our family.
- We are real. We accept each other for who we are. Admittedly, we use our sarcastic/irreverent humor to draw attention to each other’s quirks, but that’s us.
So there it is. That’s how we are and that’s how we’ve “made it” 10 years. And we are, in many ways, happier now than when we first began dating nearly 13 years ago. Sure we are a little older. The grey hairs are starting to appear (they are quickly removed upon detection). We’re not as thin and as fit as we once were (though we both work really hard at it), but it’s ok because we’re growing older with our best friend!
Regardless of the phase of relationship your in, I pray that you will find someone who makes you feel as happy and loved and supported as Coach makes me! I am truly a blessed woman!